i’ve had this book on my shelf for the longest time already. i remember when i first saw it at a bookstore, the cover caught my eye tho the synopsis at the back cover didnt really attract me i still got it thinking i’d give it a try. this book is so much different from the YA books i’m used to reading, this was somewhat a thriller mystery kinda YA book so i guess thats why i’ve put off reading it till now.. heh.

it starts off with Clay who receives a few tapes from Hannah, his class mate & crush who had just committed suicide. in the tapes, she voiced out everyone in “the list” who were to hear this tapes & in them she talks about the reason she did it all. each story in each tape were meant for someone & in the end, they all related to one another..

amazed me to know that this was Jay Asher’s first novel cause from his writing, i would’ve thought he’s been writing for so long already. the story was so raw that every character’s emotion i could feel it & i would get goosebumps at times. the mystery of the story kept me wanting to read more & more that i finished it within a day. at the end, i could feel tears forming in my eyes. the tragedy just felt so real. i pity Clay for having to carry on the guilt of not being able to help Hannah when she needed it the most but at the end, i’m glad he found the answer that even if he did he wouldn’t be able to save her cause it all came down to Hannah & if you’ve read the book, you’ll know why she just had to end her life. i cried for Hannah cause if she could have only opened up to Clay more & perhaps the others around, & gotten the help she needed, maybe then she would have survived but the story ends there & whose to know really.

“When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life.”

suicide isn’t something to take it lightly. even if someone just talks about it casually, it should be taken into account for the person has talked about it which means at one time he/she might have even thought of it. i’m sure most of us has thought of it “suicide”. even when things get bad & you’ve hit rock bottom, suicide is never the answer. sure it may be easy to think once your gone thats it. everything will end but if you think really think of all the consequences after, i hope no pray that you can at least change your mind. there’s a lot to live for even when the world is cruel, there’s always a rainbow after every storm as is you gotta go through the bad times to get to the good times..